Today's Wellness Tool comes on the heels of a couple very cerebral days. Lots of thinking, organizing, and typing. My brain hurts.

I notice this brain tax in students of all ages, and people for whom life has simply gotten fast and busy. When you're feeling like your head is getting a good squeeze it's a great time to take pause and excite your other senses:

1. Sight: Catch the sunset (or sunrise if you're an early bird) or any other gift of nature; Treat yourself to a museum (here's a guide to monthly free days for a variety of museums in San Francisco). 
2. Hearing: Dig up your favorite go-to music, the stuff that makes you happy every time you hear it. Or wander into your music store of choice and sample the new music (Amoeba is good for blasting good music throughout the store as you peruse, no purchase necessary)
3. Taste: Prepare or pick up a meal that has some elements of savory, sweet, salty, spicy, and sour. Eat slowly and notice each element. Asian cuisines are good for this one. If you've fallen into a repetitious rut with your eating, simply switch it up.
4. Smell: Inhale the scent of the aforementioned meal before eating it. Smell a baby's head. Smell the scent of an orange as you peel it, or literally stop and smell the roses. 
5. Touch: There are so many different ways, small and large, to excite this sense. Starting big, make sure you're getting the affection you want and need in your relationships; More simply, get your hands dirty in a garden; pet an animal; Go swimming; Hold a smooth stone in your palm and feel how it feels; Give yourself a head and neck massage. 

If you can answer the question, "Am I in my head too much"? with a firm "yes," know that your senses are the portal into your body.

Something I've noticed across the years, both with long-term clients and within myself, is that once Spring arrives and daylight is more plentiful, we tend to get a surge of energy.

While this sounds like something to celebrate, it unfortunately doesn't always feel like an exciting burst, but instead shows up as anxiety or agitation. 

It's a gift to tune in to these patterns within ourselves (it's less off-putting when it's predictable!), but in the mean time here are a couple tried and true, common herbs that can help alleviate your anxious symptoms.* 

1. Kava is an herb native to the South Pacific. There is evidence that it is effective in the treatment of generalized anxiety and may be good for sleep issues as well. Read a good summary of its history, benefits, warnings, dosage information and more here. You can take Kava in the forms of tinctures, teas, capsules, or whole root.
2. Valerian Root is native to Europe, and while historically it's been used as an anxiety remedy, it is better know for it's ability to assist with sleep. Click here for the details. Valerian is available in tinctures, teas, liquid and powdered extracts (non-medical warning: it smells a bit funky)

*Always check with your doctor before adding herbs to your life! These herbs in particular should not be used if you have liver issues. Also, here are some very knowledgable local herb resources: Scarlet Sage Herb Company, The San Francisco Botanical Medicine Clinic and Information Center. 

San Francisco is vibrating with the energy of human rights supporters. Two days ago thousands marched for same-sex marriage equality here, and a quick search tells me smaller marches took place around the globe.

Then there's the cyberworld, which is visually showing its support with various images and symbols. It's pretty moving. 

I would say that actively supporting something you believe in is a Wellness Tool in and of itself. Between building community, fostering connection, and working towards something bigger and better for current and future generations, the enriching qualities of such movements are vast.

But people's inclination to show support and to empathize with those with fewer rights than themselves also got me thinking about one of my favorite forms of meditation, called Metta, which translates to loving-kindness. It involves first bringing loving-kindness to yourself, and then sending it to other(s). Below is a snapshot (a more thorough guide can be found through the Metta Institute website), followed by a 30-minute guided video:

1. Find a comfortable position in a quiet space. Take a few deep breaths and invite your mind to be still.
2. Repeat silently to yourself, "May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease."
3. Call to mind a person in your life (it's easier to start with someone who you care for and/or cares for you) and repeat silently to yourself, "May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease."
4. (Optional) Repeat with other people, including those who are more difficult for you to appreciate.
5. Simply notice how it feels to invite these thoughts to yourself and to send them to others. Enjoy!

I've been thinking lately about the power that small actions can have on well-being. Just as a smile or a kind gesture from another person can shift the course of your day, so too can an act of self-care positively affect your mood. 

There are countless ways to do this, so in an effort to share doable tricks with the masses, I am going to break it down. Every week I will post one tool that requires less than 30 minutes of your time to use. These are actions that you can choose to add to your day...or not. It's that simple. 

And I couldn't think of a better way to kick of Wednesday Wellness than to talk about kicking your feet up...the wall.*

That's right. Laying on your back, either on the floor or on a bed if it's against the wall, scootch your butt within a foot of the wall and swing your feet up. Your heels should rest gently against the wall. If your legs are tight you may need to move further back from the wall. Place your arms at your sides or above your head, whatever feels more comfortable. You may want to place a pillow beneath your head. 

Close your eyes and try to rest like this for 15 to 20 minutes. If you have less time, you have less time. When you are ready, slowly drop your legs to one side and sit back up. Take a moment to notice how your body feels.

I have recommended this intervention to countless clients--usually those experiencing anxiety and/or insomnia (this is great pre-bed-time ritual), and I do it myself as often as possible.

I learned this from Judith Lasater, a woman who has a firm grasp on her craft as an international yoga instructor, physical therapist, East-West psychology doctorate, writer, and big time proponent of nonviolent communication. The above image is of her book Relax and Renew: Restful Yoga For Stressful Times.


*If you have any medical conditions/injuries that would make this a no-no, respect them. Perhaps instead, you can take 15-20 minutes to simply lie silently on your back without interruption.

Over the last decade, I have flirted with countless physical, emotional, and spiritual health niches. From yoga to cardio; from depth psychology to mindfulness-based stress reduction; from acupuncture to reiki; And from Weight Watchers to The Brain Diet, I truly have been playing the field. Some I sized up and let go, others I spent more quality time with. Those I deemed worthy, I introduced to friends and, when appropriate, to clients. What I've learned is that there are a few solid rules that are helpful to abide by, no matter what area of health and healing you are considering allowing into your life.

1. Focus on the positive.

You get better results when you  focus on adding something constructive to health rather than on subtracting something undesirable:

Add a 30-minute walk to your day, a 60-minute class to your week, or a 10-minute stretch before bed (instead of aiming to watch fewer hours of television).

Add more deeply colored vegetables to your plate, more vitamins and minerals from various food sources and more local and seasonal produce (as opposed to subtracting processed foods and meals that offer high calories and low nutrients).

It may feel doable to add a 5-minute mindfulness exercise upon waking, to start the conversation (with yourself or others) about calling a therapist, or to write a daily affirmation on a post-it note (instead of trying to will yourself to feel less anxious, sad, or self-critical).

We have a tendency to erroneously assume that concentrating on what we don't want will keep us focused on our goals, when the focal point often remains on the very thing we don't want (and its accompanying entourage of feelings—Guilt, Shame, Irritation, and Co.). Try adding what you do want and notice how that nudges the undesirables out of your life. 

2. Go slow and be prepared for the discomforts of detoxification.

If someone had been using alcohol or heroine on a daily basis and simply stopped, he would be at-risk, not of discomfort, but of death. This is because the body grows dependent on the substance to keep its balance. Remove that substance and the body doesn't know what to do with itself. One needs proper pacing and supervision to safely detox.

While not necessarily as severe, the same concept goes for changing health habits of any kind. Whatever you have been doing—eating low-fiber foods, being more sedentary than you desire, or calling yourself nasty names—you have likely been doing it for a while. And while the negative affects are there, you have adjusted to them.

By engaging in something different you are going to purge and that purge just might be nasty before it's awesome. I invite you to imagine what would happen if you suddenly ate the recommended amount of servings of fruits and vegetables after you've been living a life full of mashed potatoes, or if you up and ran a marathon after years of not being able to touch your toes. What if, in one sitting, you suddenly let in all the hurt you'd been holding back? Each of these scenarios would lead to some form of system overload and feelings of dis-ease.

So do yourself a favor, and go slow. If you are noticing that you need help with pacing, shove an elbow in Pride or Shame's side, and ask for it. If you don't, they might introduce you to their friend Self-Sabatoge, who is a sneaky and powerful force, and tends to show up right when you are on the verge of something pivotal. Whether you are attending to your health as a solo project or with support(s), the simple act of remembering that unpleasantness may be part of the process can go very far in sustaining positive growth.

3. Kiss and tell appropriately.

It is exciting to find something that works for you. Like really exciting. Kind of like falling in love, you may be tempted to shout from the mountaintop “Pilates changed my body”! Or, “My therapist just gets it”! The more woowoo domains are somehow even more compelling. “It turns out my heart chakra was just blocked! Yours may be too”!

I am obviously a huge proponent of spreading the word about self-care and health, especially in the more taboo domain of mental health. Just remember, everyone's process is different, as is their comfort level, as is their tolerance for unsolicited advice. Even starting a sentence with “What worked for me...” as opposed to “You should definitely try...” can go far in actually being able to share your message.

What I notice is that when we start paying attention to our health needs in a way that makes for meaningful changes, we walk around shining a little brighter. Let that light draw others to you, and then share your secrets.

Welcome to what I never imagined would be my first blog post.

I have so many things to share with you—a million depression and anxiety interventions worth a try (maybe two), easy ways to dig into positive psychology, humbling true stories, grad school advice, food for thought and mood. You name it, I've thought about it, geeked out on researching it, chatted with many people about it, and tried to experience it in some way. A true psychology and holistic health nerd and helper type, I am.

My latest kick is herbal remedies. It's really hard to have a conversation with me lately without getting an enthusiastic description of Osha Root or Reishi mushrooms or Ashwaganda (thank you winter herb class I took last month at the San Francisco Botanical Medicine Clinic). The other day I offered unsolicited advice to a stranger at Pharmaca about an herbal feminine product (well, she asked for feedback, just not from me per se). There are just so many accessible healing avenues to take and I can't wait to hopefully shine some light on the road.

But in this moment I'm feeling compelled to confess what a hard time I've been having. Like a paralyzing hard time.

A year and some change ago I experienced an avalanche of major life events. In the fall of 2011, I passed my clinical licensing exam and got engaged two weeks later.

A few months later, just before the new year, I lost Charlotte, the therapist who had guided me off-and-on since I was 18 years old, to cancer.

That spring I celebrated my only sibling's marriage, and shortly thereafter my first niece was born. Mid-summer, after a tumultuous bout of both medical and psychological issues, my grandmother fell extremely ill and the family converged in the suburbs of Chicago to be with her as she breathed her last breath.

My uncle had fallen into a coma at that same time. I flew home.

I decided to leave my job of five years.

My uncle died. I started a new job.

One of my closest friend's father died.

I got married.

Now, there is a whole lot of 'yay' within this 'boo' but transition is transition is life stressor is change, and each item, whether “good” or “bad” was loaded with history and questions and was headed in bold print: YOU ARE GROWN AND EVERYTHING FROM HERE ON OUT WILL BE SERIOUS AND AND PERMANENT AND LIFE ALTERING, and I think this erroneous story lingered. While this was all happening, I had an overwhelming desire to press pause, to yell stop, to sob in the shower for a full 30 minutes.

In any case, the world kept on turning, and I joined it, feeling a lot better actually. 

Being that there is no such pause, stop, or eject button that I am aware of, and knowing that neither water heaters nor cathartic moments grow on trees, I am having to slow things down in subtler ways, while trying to catch up with myself and process all that has been happening.

How am I doing this? On good days, I try to incorporate movement into my schedule, usually in the way of walks, ideally within nature. I am trying to reactivate my meditation practice and find that my Simply Being app is a great help with that, whether I can commit to five minutes or more. I also recently discovered the Transform Your Life app, which offers a daily mindfulness/self-compassion reading. 

I've been reintroducing myself to affirmations (whether I believe them or not), and use them if I have noisy moments while trying to sleep or upon waking. I am talking with my supports, celebrating all the goodness that surrounds me (e.g., amazing husband, family, friends, world's cutest baby niece) and actively trying to manifest whatever it is that I need, but I tell you, some days are really hard. 

And the moment I decided to start addressing these issues more deliberately is the moment I decided to share this experience. I wrote an essay almost five years ago about how I believe we are conditioned to consider suffering normal and advocating that we need to be much more careful about that.

​ I'm ready to heed my own advice and forgive myself for forgetting it in the first place (er, again). Cause after all, there is whole lot of good work to do (insert oh-so-true cliche about fastening your oxygen mask before helping others).

Welcome to my blog, where, unbeknownst to me, I wanted to start with the messier stuff.